HOT and DRY Cowboy Humor

It's been so hot and dry this month.  I went out to milk the Cows and all I got was evaporated milk. My neighbor went out to also milked his Cow and all he got was butter. Another neighbor tried milking his cows and all he got was powder milk. Yep, it's been a hot summer.

It's been so hot and dry this month, I've had to eat jalapenos to cool down my mouth.

It's been so hot this month, I jumped into the Ford Dually and branded myself with the seat belt. Now my navel say's Ford Safety Division.

It's been so hot this month, I actually have to wear my wife's oven mitts  to hold the steering wheel when I drive.

It's been so hot and dry this month, my horse has checked into the Marriott Hill Country Resort and Spa.

It's been so hot and dry this month, last weekend we tried fishing. The only bait the fish liked was our bottled water.

It's been so hot this month, the swimming pool is boiling hotter than a hot tub.

It's been so hot this month, my brother in law's deer feeder turned into a popcorn machine.

It's been so hot this month, I was headed to the feed store when I saw a funeral procession stopped at the Dairy Queen.

It's been so hot this month, the chickens are laying their eggs sunny side up.

It's so hot this month, we ate our half gallon of Blue Bell Ice Cream  while still shopping in the store.

Why it's been so hot and dry, that HELL filled bankruptcy because Texas reported more heat waves and had more souls.

Yes, it has been a very...very... hot summer, that even Lucifer was seen holding a cardboard sign along South Texas Hwy-77 heading north.  The sign said "Alberta - Anyone" 
Why even the Devil can not tolerate this Texas Heat.